Josh is sprawled out on his bed, his History of Magic textbook laid out in front of him, though he can't quite concentrate. There was something unsettling about that conversation and in his usual state of denial can't quite put his finger on what it was.
Alex comes in from flying, hair mussed and smiling, and tosses his broom down onto his bed. "Hey, mate." Shrugging out of his robes and tugging off his tie.
Josh looks up smiling. "Have fun?"
Alex falters for a moment at your smile, remembering the awkwardness of the conversation with Justin, but then recovers, pulling off his jumper and toeing off his shoes. "Yeah, there's a reason that bloke got onto the reserves." He shrugs. "Nice to just fly for a while too. I've been so busy at hospital."
Josh smirks, rolling onto his side, causal in his undershirt and slacks. "D'you ever find those bedpans, Stebbins?"
Alex laughs and throws his jumper at you, "Very funny." He rolls his eyes and sits down at the foot of your bed. "Honestly, though, I love it. But I miss talking with you and Justy."
Josh swats your jumper away, grinning. "I know what you mean. Things have been too strained around here for too long. Bout time things started to get back to normal." He glances at you and finds himself unsettled in the same fashion as the discussion. "Though I think Fletchley's gone barmy. Some of those comments he made." He rolls his eyes, hoping you'll dismiss Justin's accusations as foolishness. Because he's not so sure.
"Oh, I know! You and I are always...." Then he stops, and shakes his head, and looks back at you. "But we're not, are we? Always like that...." Voice much softer and tentative, but like he's resigning himself to something. "We've changed since.... Gods, I never should have said anything the other day and now I've screwed something up...."
Josh pretends he has no clue what you're sputtering about, afraid to return to such dangerous territory. "Whoa! Stebbins, one sentence at a time. What do you think you screwed up?"
Alex meets your eyes and bites his lip, then shakes his head again and forces a grin. "Nothing. Just being dumb, I guess... you know me." He stands and goes to his own bed, laying his broom against the desk and then fidgeting in his chest, taking out pyjamas. "Never mind, me, honestly. I was wrong." But his voice isn't laughing anymore and he's pointedly not looking at you as he fidgets, his face turning red.
Josh watches you helplessly, trying so hard to avoid feeling the feelings he knows are rising close, too close. But seeing your reaction makes him feel both empathetic and protective. Your sadness touches him in a very tender place and he knows it's no good for either one of them to keep up pretences anymore. Josh sits up, watching you intently, and quietly responds. "No. No you weren't wrong. What's the use of....pretending we've never thought about it?"
Alex stills immediately, taking a deep breath and then looking up to the ceiling, biting his lip again. "No use." Dropping his head and rubbing at his eyes before he turns to face you. He had thought, for the briefest moment of just lying in his own bed and pulling the drapes, mumbling something about 'not worrying about it' and pushing the feeling back down, but it was useless to pretend nothing had changed, and he cared too much for you to turn his back on you about anything. "So?" Eyes weary when they meet yours.
Josh eyes you thoughtfully, conflicted and curious. He bows his head momentarily, uncertain he has the nerve to say what he's thinking. "So I think maybe we have to be entirely honest with each other -- about our feelings. I don't think either of us can keep it all bottled up anymore."
Alex looks at you for a long moment and then nods and sits back down next to you. "Okay. Then.... I feel like you're the closest person in the world to me, and I love you. I say I love you like a brother but, it's more than that......" He sighs and drops his head into his hands. "I would die for you, and I want it to be enough to think of you like that but then lately, whenever I see you, I start to wonder about it. To think of how it could have been if circumstances had been different...." And he's telling it all by rote, resigned to the fact that this will probably change everything and he didn't want it to change, because you were all he count on here.
Josh clears his throat, nodding and stealing a nervous glance at you. "We've been everything to each other all this time. And I never really thought about it. I was simply grateful you wanted to be my friend. You're the first person I really loved -- like family. I can hardly remember a time when you weren't the most reliable thing in my life." He pauses, closing his eyes, as if trying to jump in, without hesitation. "This summer and fall, I was so lonely. And the longer I was away, the more I'd find myself thinking about you and missing you. With an urgency I'd never experienced. I wrote it off. But I still think about you, how much I love you, how much I need you, how...." He looks over sheepishly. "....beautiful you are, and how desperately I just wanted to....touch you."
Alex snorts at that but it comes out more as a soft gasp, because what you've said resonates with him too well. "I'm not. But.... " He drops his hands and looks over at you. "Cor, Josh, why didn't we take hold of this before...... when it really could have been something and we didn't have to dance around it. If you had...." He takes a breath and looks away. "Every time, with Andrew, I wished it could have been you. Because I knew you would....love me." And that's the real admission. Because somewhere inside he knew it had never really been love with Andrew, because it wasn't anything like it would have been with you.
Josh's breath hitches and he looks at you in vague disbelief, nodding his head slowly. "I would have," he whispers, wishing desperately he could go back and save you from all the pain, give you what you both desperately needed. "I had no idea, Alex. I was scared. Everyone I've cared about has abandoned me or rejected me. I was so terrified if I told you about my feelings....I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same and you'd edge away from it in discomfort. I knew I'd never be able to make it if I lost you completely."
Alex looks back at you, eyes wet, and nods before running a hand into the hair behind your ear and bringing your forehead down against his. "Josh, you will never lose me. I promise you.... no matter what happens." He shivers and stops talking, afraid he'll cry, and just knocks his forehead against yours softly.
Josh sighs, his eyelids sagging at the tender touch of your hand, but he looks you straight in the eyes, seeing a certain vulnerability he recognizes from his own gaze. "I believe you. You've never let me down. And I will never let you down." His lips quiver lightly, the proximity of your lips tempting him to kiss you the way he's wanted for so long. But he can hardly move, hardly breathe.
"I know. I know you won't." He meets your eyes and then can't stand to, feeling too open - too vulnerable, and so he closes his, body leaning into yours instinctively. He can feel your breath on his lips, can almost feel your lips shiver, and it's too much with his eyes closed. Just a breath is all he has to move, and he does, his lips pressing feather-light against yours for just a heartbeat before he moves away, just a few inches, and his eyes fly open. "Gods.... I'm sorry." Whispered brokenly, knowing he crossed the line.
Josh feels breathless just from that slight bit of contact and he licks his lips without realizing it. Feeling uncertain, he reaches over and takes your hand, looking at you both frightened and exhilarated. "No....Alex, it...." He bows his head, knowing the complications that will ensue if they continue. "It was amazing. I....this doesn't feel wrong. Not at all."
Alex closes his eyes again and drops his forehead against yours, sighing. "No.... it doesn't...." Words hesitant and almost a bit sad. He turns his hand over and takes yours, twining your fingers with his, and sighs again, breath ghosting over your lips as he does so. And it doesn't feel wrong, feels completely right to him, but he knows he won't make another move.
Josh has small chills at the vision of your fingers woven together. He can't believe the both of you went this long without realizing any of this. The energy between them is palpable and intense and Josh wonders how he was ever ignorant of it. His eyes slowly rise to meet yours and he simply stares for several moments, recognizing in your eyes all the emotions he's feeling. A hand goes to your cheek and caresses it tenderly and Josh, who feels more drawn into your eyes than his own sense of trepidation, presses his lips to yours, softly but firmly.
Alex shudders, closing his eyes and sighing into the kiss, his hand at your neck automatically moving to cup your cheek as well, thumb caressing your jawline. He moves his lips against yours just barely, and any other thought aside from how right this feels, how much like coming home this feels, fades away as he sinks into the sensation that he's imagined, if unconsciously, since that first day at Hogwarts.
Josh lets his hands roam the side of your face, your neck, your ear, touching you like this for the first time and eager to take in as much of you as possible. Josh tilts his head a bit, moving hungrily over your lips. It comes so naturally to him. It's not awkward or uncomfortable as he feared it might be. It's where he belongs, he thinks. His tongue dares to leave his own mouth and slide over your lips, slowly, carefully snaking into your mouth.
It isn't awkward for Alex either. Feels like the most natural thing he's ever felt to open his mouth to you and slide his tongue slowly against yours as it explores his mouth, hand at your cheek pulling you closer into the kiss and his free hand sliding to your side, fingers trailing against your shirt. He moves closer to you, his thigh pressing against yours as he sinks against you.
Josh's tongue only brushes over yours at first, but it's enough to make his heart flutter madly and the swirling energy in his stomach surge. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you against him, hands reaching up your back in soft strokes, tracing the path of your spine and feeling your muscles flex. Your skin is so very soft, almost silky beneath his fingers and he thinks it might be the most beautiful thing he's ever touched.
Alex shudders slightly again, pressing even more closely to you as you run your hands over his back. He tugs the edge of your shirt from your trousers and just barely traces the skin of your side with his fingertips. And it's not that the sensation is different from the hundreds of after practice massages he's given you over the years, but the context is so new and he flattens his hand against the top of your hip and moans softly, sucking at your tongue, almost overwhelmed.
Josh becomes worried that he's engaging you in something for which you aren't prepared or certain of. With great regret, he slowly pulls away from you, placing a few small kisses on your lips nonetheless. He looks almost too dazed and disoriented to move away from your closeness and though his breathing is labored, he speaks haltingly. "If....if we don't stop, which I must admit....I don't want to, were not going to stop. You know that....right? Are....are you sure you want to go through with this. I....I don't want you to do something your not....really ready for." Josh looks nervous, hoping you'll be as prepared for this as he is.
Alex blinks, confused as you pull away and then when you speak he knows - this is what he wants. This may be what he's always wanted. "Josh.... I can't.... I can't go on wondering what might have been. Not when I know you feel the same way and..." He takes a shallow breath, thinking that his heart is pounding so loud you must hear it, and then thinking that wants to kiss you for hours because he knows how well you fit against him. He lets go of you, slides his hand away from your hip and turns around, laying back on the bed and getting his breathing in control, his hand sliding across his chest to fidget at his stomach in habit. "not after I've tasted you...." His voice just incredibly soft, and he looks up to meet your eyes again. "I've always wanted you, Josh. But this.... this has to be up to you because if we do and then I lose you as a friend I would fall apart."
Josh settles on his side, fingers sliding gently over your arm. He looks at you with both sadness and love for your final statement. Alex, I promise -- no matter what happens, you will never lose me as your friend. Never." He looks to you meaningfully. "I want this every bit as much as you do. So much it's almost frightening. I don't care about anything else right now. This is like....really breathing for the first time. I want to know all of you, everything I've overlooked or couldn't touch. Fuck, Alex....I love you -- more than anyone I've ever loved. You're my world."
Alex just turns his head, and looks into you eyes for a very long moment, biting his lower lip slightly, weighing his trust in your words against how much he would hate himself if he lost you. Like really breathing for the first time. Yes. That's it exactly. Like really breathing and being breathless at the same time. He reaches out slowly and slides one hand into the hair behind your ear. "Josh." Drawing you down and pressing himself up to meet your lips even as he says it, the word a sigh that he pours himself into, everything he's feeling put into something as simple and as loved as your name.
Josh whimpers against your lips, feeling the momentum building within him -- the force of emotion and need that's about to burst right through the walls he'd so meticulously maintained all these years. He's almost afraid of it. Almost afraid it will consume him -- just like the sweetness of finally having his lips sliding over yours, claiming you at first tenderly, then hungrily, so lost in your closeness and touch, he can hardly process a thought.
Alex sighs into the kiss, it's almost a moan, and his fingers tighten in your hair, pulling your lips more firmly against his as he returns the kiss - hunger, and a touch of desperation as he licks at your lips. "Josh." The word almost hissed into your mouth, because it's the only coherent thing he can cling to. His other hand slides to the skin of your wiast, under your shirt, anchoring you and pulling himself closer in to your chest.
Josh gasps to have your hands moving over his flesh, releasing his breath in a jagged sigh. He arches against you instinctively, fingers trailing down your side and through your hair. "Better than I ever imagined...." he murmurs against your lips, hand tentatively sliding under the waistband of your pajama pants at the hip.
Alex smiles softly at your words, opening his eyes as he feels your hand at his waist. "I never let myself imagine. Not really...." His voice soft, as if he thinks you'd change your mind if startled, and he shifts slightly up toward your hand and presses his lips to yours again.
Josh presses back into you passionately, body falling fully against yours and arms encircling your waist. He's feeling himself lose all sense of hesitation or restraint, needing you more desperately with every breath. In a quick, smooth movement, he rolls you to your side, a hand impatiently smoothing up your back, his legs twining with yours, unable to hold himself back from grinding his erection against yours. He cries out quietly.
Alex gasps, more just a sudden intake of air, and moves as close as he can, grinding his hips against yours. "Josh." The word falling somewhere between a soft moan and a question. He twines his legs with yours and his hand below your shirt slides higher, slides up your spine to rest in the center of your back and pull you even tighter against him. It's not conscious now. Now it's just the culmination of years of wanting to touch you like this, lay with you like this. It doesn't require thought for him to know how right this feels.
Josh holds you tight against him, his hands strong and urgent as they seek to touch every inch of your body he can reach. His mouth moves as if to devour yours, tongue colliding into and scraping against yours, sweeping deep to memorize every slope and ridge of your mouth. Still rocking his hips against yours, his hands drift downward, and sprawl wide over your ass, squeezing it, kneading it possessively.
It's too much stimulation to process. He closes his eyes and presses into you, just letting you touch him, kiss him, as you will. As you touch his ass he moans, hand turning and nails biting into your skin as he clings to you. He slides his tongue against yours, sucking at it, not fighting for dominance as much as just completely enthralled by the feeling of you finally kissing him. Finally holding him like this. And it's frantic, but that's all right. His hand scrambles against your back and he leans to get as close as he can.
Josh slowly realizes he's wearing far too many clothes - for his taste, at least. He wants to be completely naked and he wants to feel every bit of your naked body writhing against him. He's torn, not wanting to lose contact with your lips or any other part of you. He pulls his mouth from yours, quickly rips his shirt over his head and pulls you back into a greedy kiss, his bare chest pressed against yours, nipples occassionally dragging over each other.
And that's.... oh that's amazing. Alex moans in protest when your lips leave his but the sensation of your skin against his has him gasping for breath as you return. But that look in your eyes as you ripped your shirt off... predatory.... gods if I could be any harder right now. But there's not even time for that thought. He drags you back down against him, rolling smoothly so that hes on his back and you're pulled down atop him, legs still tangled together, and he slides his hands now, slowly - almost shyly, to rest on the curve of your lower back, fingertips sliding below the wasitband of your trousers.
Justin shivers helplessly to feel your hands move so tenderly over his back and he moans quietly, feeling every inch of his flesh prickle with electricity. He bucks against you slightly as his lips begin to stray from your mouth, slowly kissing their way down your cheek and across your jawbone, stopping right below your ear to eagerly nuzzle his face there, alternately suck and nipping at the sensitive skin. Then his lips are gone, moving to hover so close to your ear, they graze your skin when he talks. "I want to make love to you, Alex," he whispers between labored breaths. "I need you."
Alex sighs as you nuzzle him, frantic need gone and now just feeling you close - tender. When you whisper he melts, your voice so sweet and those hot breaths against his ear. He opens his eyes, slides one hand to your side to push you away just enough so that he can lock his eyes with yours. His are dark, hazy, but tender and in them you can read the want, the love.... "I've always needed you." Voice soft as a prayer.
Josh looks down at you, eyes intense and loving as they study your face. His hand goes to your cheek and caresses your skin, fingers moving over it so delicately and reverently it's like a sort of worship. "You are so beautiful....all of you -- so beautiful it almost hurts to consider it. All I've ever really wanted......somewhere inside of me....is for you to love me...."
Alex bites his lip, raising one hand to return the caress to your cheek and then to stroke your hair softly, his eyes locked on yours. "I'm not.... I'm not beautiful...." And at that he does blush slightly, the pink spreading over his cheek, under your fingers. But I do love you Josh.... I always have." And at that he closes his eyes and leans up to press his lips to yours, the touch whisper light. "I've never felt for anyone the way I feel for you."
Josh's eyes are tremulous with tears and though in any other circumstance he'd suck it up and play as if unaffected, he knows there's no need for pretenses between the two of you any more. "Alex, you are so beautiful. It's not just the way you look......you are the best person I know. You've saved me more time than you could ever imagine....just by being who you are. You're the only thing, only person in this world I've ever truly loved."
Alex blinks and does give himself time to process that, feeling tears stinging behind his own eyes too. "And you... you're the first person I ever loved, ever wanted. The first person I ever want to share things with." He pulls your forehead against his softly, other hand caressing your back tenderly, slowly.
Josh stares into your eyes, your love and need so raw and apparent -- perhaps all the more so because they mirror the feelings he's harbored all this time. He's never felt so loved and safe in his entire life. You feel like home in a way his own home and family never have. Just considering it, that this is real and it's everything he's ever longed for, overwhelms him and tears spill over from his eyes on to your cheek.
And that is really all it takes to break Alex apart, his own tears spilling and he pulls you down against him, arm tight around your back. He leans up to kiss away a tear below your eye and shivers, pulling your mouth against his again quickly. "God, Josh.... I love you. You... you're everything I've ever wanted. All I've ever wanted is to hold you like this." Words murmured soft and quick against your lips, broken by his own breathing.
"Christ, Alex," he breathes, but can hardly think to say any more than that. Josh bows his head to yours, claiming your mouth again, softly, passionately. His hand slowly slides down between your bodies and, shaking, fumbles with the snap on your pajamas, undoing it after a few tries.
He sighs, his hips pressing away from you to give you room to move. Instinctive.... knowing without a doubt that this is what he wants from you. "Josh." The name a whisper against your lips and he kisses you back, soft and tender but no less passionate for that, like making love with just your tongues. And his fingertips slide under the waistband of your trousers again. Not able to reach around to the button, he suffices with just focusing on the kiss, and on your fingers.
Every time you say his name, Josh pauses momentarily, eyes flittering shut as if your voice reverberates sweetly throughout his entire body. His hand trembles there for awhile before he slides his hand beneath your boxers and reaches in blindly and almost timidly. His fingers ghost over the head, all ready moist with arousal and with a hitch in his breath, wraps his hand around your cock.
Alex makes a mewling sound low in his throat as you wrap your hand around him. "Oh my god, Josh...." He closes his eyes and lays his head back against the pillows, fingers gripping your hips hard as he presses his hips up toward your hand. He slides one hand as close to your zipper as he can without moving your arm. Wanting to touch you as well, but not wanting you to stop touching him.
Your noises, which he'd only fantasized about causing, are enough to unhinge Josh. For a few seconds, he truly worries he'll lose control right there, but manages to restrain. He can tell you're trying to reach his trousers and just thinking about it is enough to make his cock throb. Yet, he loves holding you hard in his hand, slowly pumping you. A few moments of frustration pass before he finally relinquishes you and hurriedly slides off you, pulling your trousers from you almost frantically and then quickly going to work on his own pants.
At the sudden movement Alex is drawn out of the haze. He's been just focused on your hand pumping him, and he can't help but moan in loss as you remove it, but his eyes fly open as you pull his jeans down and at the look in your eyes he's mobilized, pushing himself up enough to reach for you, for your pants, his fingers going to the zipper and drawing it down while his other hand goes back to your hair, pulling you to kiss him - the kiss deeper, more quickly passionate.
Josh kicks his trousers and boxers off furiously and lowers himself down upon you fully, sinking his hips into yours and releasing a long, low, gutteral groan when he feels his erection press against yours. "Alex....my god," he shudders over your lips, mouth ravishing yours with a frenzied hunger.
Alex returns the kiss, letting your frenzy fuel his own, groaning into it at the feeling of your skin, your completely naked body, pressed to his. So familiar and yet so new. He lets his hands rove, touching in the way he'd never let himself think about before. Scratching down your back slightly and pulling you even further into him, then sliding over your ass - cupping and grinding up against you. "Jesus, Josh...."
Josh tears his mouth from yours and cries out as your nails drag over his back and your hands press him tight against you. He fears if this keeps going, he's going to come before anything happens. Licking his lips, he eyes linger on you with hot intent. "Alex," he pants. "I don't know how you wanna do this but we need to do it now or I'm not going to last."
Alex looks up at you, his eyes hazed and dark and wanting.... wanting you so much that at first he can't process the question in your words, just grinds his hips up agianst yours again. When it does make sense he blushes slightly and bites his lip again. "What....what do you want?"
Josh stares at you, almost stricken, shaking his head. "I don't....I mean, I've only topped once. I....don't know if I'm any good. But I wanna do what you wanna do." His mind is racing now, suddenly worried that you'll find him disappointing, that he'll ruin everything. "I just want you to be satisfied. I want this to be good for you."
Alex sees the worry and smiles softly, leaning up to kiss you again, his hand moving to wrap around your cock as he does, pushing you away just slightly to give himself room. "We don't.... we don't have to.... I just want to make you happy. I can do anything you want...." Stroking softly, and licking his lips.
Josh gasps quietly as your hand fists around him, his eyelids sagging half-shut in pleasure. He reaches out and tenderly slides his fingers down the side of your face, breathless. "I want to make love," he whispers, gazing at you intensely.
Alex feels tears stinging behind his eyes again as he meets your gaze. "Gods....I've.... I've never wanted anything as much as I want that." He closes his eyes and pulls your forehead down against his again, leaning up to press his lips to yours again.
Josh sighs into your kiss, moving closer to you and rounding his hand over the back of your neck. "Alex, what are we going to do?" He quickly kisses your lips a few times before you can answer.
"Make love to me." And even as he says it he blushes again, the words needy and shy at the same time, pressing kisses back to you quickly so that you don't see the desperate need in his eyes.
"How....do you want to do it?" Josh asks quietly, kissing your cheek. "I've only been at it for about a month, so you'll have to be patient with me. Just tell me what you want and I'll do it." He looks at you solemnly, waiting for your response.
"I...." Alex blushes again and drops his head to your shoulder. "God.... I'm never this shy with anyone but you." Laughing softly as he says it and sliding arms loose around your hips. He leans back and looks into your eyes. "It doesn't matter, Josh. Really.... however you take me." He shrugs slightly and smiles up at you. "I just want to be yours."
Josh smiles back and lowers a soft kiss to your lips. "I'd much rather be able to see you," He says, pulling away, "but the only time I topped, Sam was on all fours." He looks at you almost helplessly, embarrassed that his experience is so limited and he's so uncertain of his skills.
Alex chuckles and leans up to kiss you quickly. "It's...it's not so hard, really." He smiles and traces your cheek with his hand, still blushing. "Do you have your wand?" And he's torn between thinking the embarrassment is the most adorable thing he's seen and the pressing need he has just to be taken.... for you to know what to do. Because he knows that once you touch him, you'll know exactly what he needs.
Josh nods and reaches over to grab his wand off his nightstand. He looks at you expectantly, wishing he were better at this.
Alex smiles and leans back against the pillows again, eyes locked on yours, he pulls lightly at your shoulder to get you close enough that he can wrap his legs around your hips. "It'll be perfect, Josh."
Lust and love burn in Josh's eyes as you pull him closer. How many times had he dreamed of this without realizing it? He must have, because it suddenly seems so familiar and instinctual. "It's all ready perfect," he says quietly, voice thick and throaty, leisurely sliding a finger around your hole.
Alex shudders and leans up crush his lips to yours, finally letting his eyes drop closed and letting himself feel you touching him. He draws his knees up to your sides, pressing his hips down toward your fingers and sighing. "Gods....Josh....love...." His voice filled with something between awe and unmistakable lust.
Josh tenderly caresses the side of your face, watching you with something resembling fascination. "Yes, Alex....love....nothing's ever felt so right." He pauses briefly to perform a lubrication spell, slowly sliding a finger inside you, hardly able to breathe at the beautiful reality of it.
Alex swallows hard and groans, writhing below you to press down to your fingers. "Jesus. Josh...." All thought lost except for your name and the amazing way you're making him feel. His knees clench involuntarily, instinctively, hugging your sides tighter.
Josh's eyes fall shut for a moment as he struggles to hold himself together between the sounds of your pleasure and urgency of your actions. He eases a second finger into you, scissoring them out as he moves in and out of you, lightly grazing your prostate with every stroke.
Alex opens his eyes as you start to get him ready, his body shuddering every time you brush that sensitive nub. He leans up as much as he can, one hand going to your hair to tug you down to him. "Josh, please....Gods I need you...." Murmured against your lips before he begins kissing you again, pouring all his need into the gentle and insistant movement of his lips against yours, groaning into the kiss as you continue to finger him.
Josh can feel the waves of passion roll over him again and again, almost shaking with desire as he moves his mouth over yours. His erection is tugging at him madly and he can feel yours pressed against his navel, leaving a cool, wet circle of pre-come on his belly. With a deep breath, he lines his head with your opening and slowly begins to push himself inside you, watching you carefully with half lidded eyes to see your face filled full with pleasure.
"Oh my god." Alex's voice so soft and filled with awe that it's barely more than a whisper against your cheek before he drops his head back and closes his eyes, his back arching and his body just begging for yours.
Josh releases a low, strangled cry to see your body so open and hungry for him, straining against him impatiently. He continues to ease himself inside you, though the temptation to simply bore himself into you is dangerously difficult to resist, his face drawn in concentration and unconcealed lust. "Oh Jesus....Alex...." he murmurs as he finally presses into you to the hilt, his hands running possessively up your thighs, his eyes only slits now and his mouth hanging open with a silent cry.
Alex is panting for breath, drawing it in in shuddered half gasps as you work into him. And oh gods does that feel perfect when you're finally buried in him, the way he's wanted you since he first discovered how good it felt.... He feels tears stinging the backs of his closed eyes, and he opens them - staring up wetly into yours and swallowing hard again. "I never thought...." Shifting his hips to feel you pressed as fully into him as possible. "Gods I never dreamed it could be this good."
Josh is still, watching you breathlessly, trying make his mind process the fact that this is really happening, that you're really lying beneath him so beautiful in ecstasy and uttering words he never dared to dream he could hear from you. He reaches out for your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and studying how perfectly your hands fit together. The telltale burning returns to the back of his throat and his eyes prickle with tears as he gently begins to thrust in and out of you, eyes misty, but still fixed on yours.
Alex follows your hand with his eyes, a tear escaping and sliding down the side of his face when he sees your fingers locked together. He groans then, clenching his eyes closed and pressing up against you, kissing you hard and then pulling your forehead against his. "Move...Josh. I need to feel you. Love me."
"Yes," Josh whispers solemnly, kissing your tear away as one escapes from his own eye. "I've been waiting to love you for a long time." Josh's hips move against you at a leisurely pace, though he could surely fuck you with complete abandon at this point. He wants this to last as long as he can possible manage. He wants to feel every thrust perfectly, memorize every sensation, though simply the look of gratification on your face leaves his cock throbbing maddeningly close to release.
Alex can't think, can't speak, can't do anything but feel you as you begin to move inside of him. It's like his heart is breaking and growing five sizes in the same instant, the feeling is so sweet and perfect that it almost physically hurts but your making love to him feels so good that he can't hardly stay still, shivering and writhing below you - unconscioulsy mumbling your name over and over again.
Josh can hear your repeating his name and it fuels his need for you, his thrusts growing steadily faster as a result. Looking down at you, your body moving so rapturously beneath him, only makes him yearn for you all the more. He bows his head and captures your lips in a frantic, breathless kiss, almost certain he could never, ever get enough of you.
"Oh Christ!" Alex's entire body shivers as you speed up, his hips moving of their own accord to press up and meet your thrusts. "Fuck. Josh.... that's so.... oh my god......" Mumbled against your lips as he kisses you back, matching the frantic movement of your lips with that of his own. "Gods.... love you...." Reaching to tangle one hand in your hair.
Josh groans against your lips, amazed and overwhelmed just to hear you say you love him. "Jesus....I love you, Alex," he pants, mouth still lingering close to yours. He moving faster in and out of you, carried away by a rhythm that seems to have a life of its own. Feeling your erection slide wetly across his belly, he reaches between your bodies and wraps his hand around your cock, pumping it hard.
"Oh my god." It's as if every muscle in his body tenses and releases the moment he thrusts up into you hand. He comes, hard - so hard he'll think he's going to black out. And he'll be embarrassed about how fast it was later but now it just takes him by complete surprise - makes him scream your name and clutch at your shoulders, spilling himself against your stomach and his own.
Josh grunts, taken off guard by your sudden climax. The image of you in orgasm is far too much for him to take, as he was close enough to coming anyway. Falling against you, he cries out -- your name mingling with his moans -- and erupts inside you with devastating force. Face buried into the bed, he gasps for breath, arms encircling your waist tightly.
Alex is shivering below you, his heart still pounding and he's gasping for breath. Your own orgasm draws another violent tense and shudder out of him and his arms go tight around your hips, the muscles shivering too. He presses his head aganist your shoulder. "Oh god...." Words against your skin.
Josh holds you close, as perfectly happy as he's ever been, and nuzzles his face against the side of yours, pressing sweet, small kisses against your cheek. "I've never....that was....incredible." He presses against you, as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he doesn't keep you as close as possible. "Alex...."
"Josh...." He pulls you closer into his chest and kisses your shoulder - too overwhelmed to do much more than ghost his lips against the skin.
[Fin.]