Alex is lying on his stomach on his bed in his slacks, other clothes strewn on the floor in a line to his bed. He's shivering, whimpering - it's very obvious that he's crying.

 Josh returns to the tower after a quick fly around the pitch and strolls into the dorm, whistling and looking generally content. Almost immediately, though, he notices you on your bed, looking as if you're breaking down. He walks over, concern cutting across his face, gently places his broom on his bed and sits on the edge of your bed, rubbing your back. "Alex? Alex are you all right, mate?"

Alex hiccups and turns his head to look at you, his eyes are red and his cheeks are stained with tears. It looks as if he's been crying for hours. He whimpers in answer and then closes his eyes, not able to speak.

 Josh stares at you, stricken, for awhile, thankful to finally see you begin to release the pain you've pent up all these weeks, but uncertain how to comfort you. His hand drifts toward your cheek, thumb delicately smoothing over the dampness on your skin, and remains to ghost over your profile. "What happened, Alex?" he asks in a near whisper. "Can you talk?"

Alex shivers and leans into the touch, fresh tears sliding down his cheeks as he turns into your hand. He shakes his head slightly. "Can't..." Hiccupping again softly, eyes closed tight.

 Josh sweeps away the fresh tears, grimacing slightly at your silence. "Is there anything I can do? Anything that will make you feel......even the slightest better."

"Can you... can you just...." He breaks off, more tears coming and he tugs slightly at your hand - not at all used to being this weak in public, and not even capable of asking for you to hold him.

 Instinctively, Josh knows what you're requesting. He stretches out beside you on the bed, tenderly gathering you into his arms, hand cradling the back of your head as your face presses against his shoulder. He kisses the top of your head so scarcely that you can barely perceive it and his fingers trail rhythmically through your hair. "It's all right. I'll stay as long as you need me. You don't have to say a word until you're ready."

Alex shivers in  your arms and wraps one arm over your hips, pulling you close against him and turning his face into the hollow of your neck. "Thank you...." The words a soft whimper.

 "Shh....you know I'd never let you do any of this alone," Josh says with a soft and steady voice, eyes falling shut as tears begin to sting behind the lids. One hand remains in your hair. Another moves up and down your back and presses you against him as firmly as possible. "You can cry as long as you want. I'm not going anywhere."

Alex chokes back a chuckle, hiccupping again and then coughing, curling closer into you. "God, now, I'm going to cry for fucking ever." And to prove the point another fresh wave of tears wracks him, and he leans into your shoulder again.

 Josh snorts, but it turns into a strangled sort of sob at the end. It hurts him to see you hurting, to feel the pain radiate from you to him. "Then cry for fucking ever," Josh says, steadying his voice. "You've needed to for fucking ever. Bout time you let it go a bit. I thought I might be scraping you off the castle ceiling soon."

Alex groans softly as he tries to laugh at that, and then gives up, letting the sobs shake him and pulling you as tight to him as he possibly can. "Gods, Josh...." Hes shaking, shivering against you, mumbling his sister's name into your shoulder almost so softly that you can't hear it.

 Josh lowers his face into your hair, trying to make as much contact as physically possible, know that's what you need right now more than anything. Far more than words. "That's right," he mutters softly. "Keep going. Let it out. All of it. Let it go."

After a few long minutes, Alex finally quiets a bit, still crying, but not as frantically, and clinging to you, but not as hard. "Cor, Josh...." His voice is broken.

 "What?" he whispers, head still pressed to yours.

"I love you......" He pulls back a bit and bumps his forehead with yours, tears still streaming from his eyes, "I don't know what I would do without you, brother."

 Josh chokes on a sigh, but manages to swallow back the tears. He presses a cheek to yours, transferring your tears to his own cheek. "You'll never have to know. I promise. I love you too much to ever let go. You all the family I have....well, you and Sam. I'll always be here for you."

Alex nods against your forehead and leans his against yours, breathing deeply to catch his breath and hiccupping slightly. "That owl... Josh.... I didn't mean to upset you...... I'm so fucking sorry. I never mean to hurt you." Fresh tears coming at the thought.

 "Shh...." Josh smoothes his hand over your hair and gazes directly into your eyes, serious and sincere. "You didn't hurt me. I was only worried for you. Don't apologize for anything. As long as you're still alive and you're keeping it together....even only by a string, I don't need anything else."

Alex sniffles and looks up to meet your eyes, his own bloodshot but steady - he's really there for the first time since before Maggie's death. "I...... gods.... thank you, brother."

 Josh stares at you for a long time, silent. He's so grateful to see some life, no matter how painful, in your eyes again. "Please, Alex, don't thank me. I don't even feel like I've done anything. I just want to see you find a way through this. A safe way."

"Nothing's safe." He shivers involuntarily and wraps his arm tighter around your hip, pulling your hips closer to his. "We have to stick together, Josh. We can't let them.... we can't let win.... we just can't." Shaking again.

 "We won't, Alex," Josh says emphatically, trying not to be quite so aware of the closeness of your hips, hating himself for even having an inking of thought in that direction at a time like this. "I wasnt planning on going anywhere. If we fight, we fight together. Isn't that the way it's always been? They won't get to me and they won't get to you. We'll make them pay. We will."

Alex eyes flash and he nods before another wave of tears comes and he leans against you, completely unaware that he's so close, his lips ghosting against your throat as he buries his head in your neck again. "God I hate being this way...." Groaned against your neck.

 Josh sighs and quickly shivers at your lips and your groan, but chalks it up to the renewal of your tears, unwilling to admit he's responding to anything physical right now. "What way? Scared? Hurt? Crying?" Josh asks incredulously. "If you were acting any other way, I'd be worried. In fact, you were acting any other way and it scared the shit out of me. This is the healthiest you've been in ages, mate."

"Hate being weak." His voice dropping low, shaking again and cuddling against you, trying for as much contact as he can get. "Hate having.... hate bringing everyone down, not being strong...." He closes eyes and drops into your shoulder, crying again.

 "Cor, are you barmy?!" Josh exclaims loudly, closing his arms around you and drawing you close again. "Mate, if you were weak, you wouldn't have come back to Hogwarts. You'd've stayed with your parents and hid away from the world. If you weren't strong, you'd be dead. You'd killed yourself because you couldn't deal with the pain. You're stronger than all of us because you start the day with such pain and adversity and anger -- far more than any of us are facing right now -- and you get up and go on with your day and keep living. You're functioning the same as the rest of us, but you have to work harder to hold yourself together. You're an inspiration, mate, not a drag."

Alex laughs bitterly against your shoulder and shivers again. Thinking that it's not as dramatic as all that, but then again - it is. He clutches at your hip, drawing shaky breaths and expelling them against your throat, not saying anything, just clinging to you and letting you hold him.

 Josh snuggles closer against you tentatively, still uncomfortable with the feeling your closeness is giving him. But he embraces you as tightly as he possibly can. It gives you strength and giving you strength gives him strength -- and faith, that the bad cannot ruin everything.

[Fin.]