Joshua's just make the trek from Hogsmeade back to the castle. His spirits are high , as they always are after he's been with Sam, but as nears Hufflepuff Tower, he knows the happiness will not be so sweet soon. He can't stop worrying about Alex and wanting to make things better for him. He enters the common room, intending to head straight to his room.

Alex sees Josh walk in and smiles over at him, obviously feeling better than he was. "Josh, mate, come 'ere!"

 Josh smiles tentatively, but seeing your more cheerful face, he begins to grin and eagerly heads over, taking a seat  in a chair nearby you. "Mate, how're you doing? It's great to see you smile again."

Alex smiles again. "I've been okay today. I'm doing much better.  But.. I have something to tell you.... I need you to just sit there and let me get it all out, okay, because I can't tell this story again."

 Josh's grin dissolves into dread and he's watching you carefully to make sure you're really all right. "All right, mate. Go ahead, I'll listen"

"Last night you asked about Andrew. Andrew was...The boy next door." Alex forces a chuckle, looking pained. "Next door to my sister's flat. A muggle. I... I thought I was in love with him"  He forces another laugh and stares into the fire, not waiting for an answer. "It was excellent at first.. I was.. I didn't know anything. Had horrible judgement..." He cringes at the memory. "I got really good at healing charms over the summer." Now that he's started talking Alex finds, again, that he can't stop there. "It's... it's okay. I mean... I'm used to getting hurt. I hit let bludgers head towards me for fun... but...." He shakes his head again. "It's other things, you know? : "I learned a lot... I learned a lot about tearing people down... making them feel worthless... making them glad you're hurting them... believing they don't deserve any better..." He stops, taking a breath. "That's it, really. Ernie got it out of me, and so... I wanted to tell you too. You're my best mate, I couldn't stand you now knowing."

 Josh watches you for awhile after you've finished speaking, rubbing his chin, as if in thought. He lets out a long, tired sigh. "Alex, are you saying that he beat you?"

Alex shrugs. "Among other things. Listen, Josh, I'm okay now. It's just that I didn't want Ernie knowing things you didn't.... last night... last night I was reacting to the memory of him just as much as I was to that asshole Pucey..."

 Josh grimaces, not wanting to push, but still so curious about so much. "I...are...are you okay? How are you feeling today and how is Dean doing?"

"I'm better. I... I don't know how Dean is." Alex slumps back wearily into the couch, still grinning buy obviously weary. "I think I helped. I hope I helped... I just felt so torn apart when I couldn't protect him."

 Josh watches Alex, wanting to hold him or something, but he's not sure it's appropriate. "I understand, mate. I feel that way right now about you. Youre my best mate and I can't do a bloody thing to help you."

Alex looks down and then over at Josh and lets himself grin. "I'm sorry mate. Every time we talk I lay shite like this on you." He shakes his head. "I thought I was over it.. really.. that's why I never told you before. It just... all came back with Dean.. all those feelings of helplessness."

 Josh hurriedly gets up and sits down next to you, speaking to you fervently. "Listen Alex, don't ever apologize for telling me what on your mind, what's hurting you, what's making your life difficult. That's what I'm here for and I'll never, ever turn you away if you need anything. You shouldn't be apologizing at all right now. None of this is your fault and if there are other issues well up inside you as a result, you have to talk to someone. I don't care if it's me or not. Get it out. Cor, Alex you're my first friend, my best friend, and there isn't anything I wouldn't do to make sure you're safe and happy."

Alex felt tears stinging behind his eyes and beams at you, grabbing you by the front of your shirt and pulling you in for a tight hug. "God, mate, thanks for being there. Last night. You don't know what that meant for me. You're always there when I need you. I wanted to tell you about Andy... Andrew, so bad. I just couldn't."

 Josh hugs you back fiercely, having never felt closer or more protective of you in all the time you've been friends. "I understand, mate. You can't just blurt out that kind of information. You've got work up to it, prepare yourself for it." Josh, too, is feeling dangerously close to tears and his voice wavers a bit. "You were the first ever person who believed in me. And never let me down. And actually loved me the way I was. In a million years, I could never pay you back for that. Mate, I'd do anything for you. I mean that."

Alex hugs back tight and leans his forehead down into your shoulder. "You deserve it, mate. You're too good for the shite from your family. You know you're like a brother to me." He sighs and pulls back a bit. "So, brother, tell me who's making your glow?"

 Josh can't hold back a guilty smile, looking away from Alex almost demurely. "Do you really not have a clue who's making me glow?"

Alex laughs. "I'm assuming that it has something to do with the fact that Capper was staring after you during my whole party. Steal my glory, indeed." He laughs again and then his eyes go cold. "You know what you're doing, right mate? I would hate for you to get hurt..." He stops himself before he can say 'like me.'

 Josh smirks, "Mate, it's not my fault I'm so damn sexy men and women can't take their eyes away from me." He pauses and his smirk turns into a soft smile. "I know what I'm doing for the first time in my life. He loves me, mate. I don't know how you can fall in love that quickly, but I feel the same thing. He's everything I never thought I was worthy of."

Alex lets himself relax again, leaning back against the couch. "Yeah. You just tell yourself that's the reason, and not your funny clothes, mate." He looks over at you and grins. "I'm glad. I'm happy for you. In love? Thats... that's great... I wish..." He sighs and leans his head back again. "I haven't said 'I love you' yet, to Dean, you know. I came so damn close last night...."

 Josh studies you as your voice trails off, listening intently and wondering what you were going to say. "Why didn't you say it?"

He shrugs. "I dunno, really... I was going to and I..." He looks away. "That's a lie. I don't want to lie to you, mate.  The last person... the only person I've said that to... in that way... was Andy... Andrew."

 Josh's face falls at the significance of this. "Jesus, Alex...I'm sorry, mate. But y'know, maybe that's all the more reason I tell Dean you love him. Then you can replace all those horrible memories of love, with really good ones."

Alex sighs and smiles weakly. "Yeah. You're right. I know you are. I just... can't get over it." He looks over at you again. "But I meant that owl. Don't you dare let what I'm going thru fuck up your happiness. You deserve to be happy. More than anyone I know."

 He slings his arm over your shoulders, "I'm very happy right now. You aren't fucking up anything. I'll just feel happier when I know everything is right for you. The way it should be."

Alex relaxes back against your arm. "It'll all turn out alright. I have to hold onto that. Dean and I... we're... he's so wonderful, really. And I'm glad you're happy." He sits up, and turns around, smiling brightly all of a sudden. "Cor, can you imagine the four of us on a double date?"

 Josh smirks, "Mate, I don't think Sam and I will be appropriate in public for many, many weeks. Though it would be a bloody sight! We'll have to do it sometime just to see what a motley crew we all are together."

Alex blushes a bit and laughs at you then looks at you more solidly. "Thank you, Josh. You always make me smile... well, almost always. But you're the best friend I could think of having. If you and Ernie hadn't been around..."

 Josh puts a finger to your mouth. "Shhh! Don't even say it. Don't even think it. There will never be a time that we're not here for you. Ever."

Alex starts a bit at the gentle touch and words, certainly not what he's used to from you, but he's not used to being weak in front of you either, so he lets it slide. "Thanks, mate." He pauses and leans back, eyes hardening again. "And now we have to be there for someone else...."

 Josh furrows his brow, confused. "Who? Dean?"

Alex nods. "Yeah, Dean. But not tonight. I saw Pucey leave the grounds. But Ernie... in all that's happened lately we put off that business... and tonight when we talked... he's still crying...hurting over it."

 Anger flashes in Josh's eyes, but he makes a concerted effort to resist it. "Is he all right? Where is he? Fucking, Druitt...I'd still like to wring his fucking neck."

Alex nods. "I told him you and I would take care of it. Fuck waiting for Justin...it's taking too long. Ernie tried to talk me out of it... he's worried we'll get hurt.. but I told him we couldn't let it slide."

 Josh is serious and he nods slowly as you talk.

 "Where is the fucking Slytherin? I'd really like to show him what we Hufflepuff beaters do to sick bastards like him."

"I don't know. I say we go prowling... just like old times." He grins.

[And Josh and Alex go looking for Druitt.]