Dean sits out on the grass, enjoying the silence around him. He gazes out over the lake, watching the stars reflect on its glassy surface; the cold wind whips through his thin shirt, making him shiver.

Alex walks out of the castle with his broom over his shoulder, his head pounding, needing more fresh air than the windows were providing. He had gone up to Dean's studio, found it empty, and headed outside. He was still very close to the castle when he saw a familiar figure on the grass, in just a thin shirt, shivering in the cold. He drops his broom and shrugs out of his heavy robe, walking slowly behind you and dropping the robe over your shoulders. "This is just how we started our first night, you know, you shivering in the cold." His voice is low, soft.

"It is, isn't it?" he smiles softly at the memory. "But this time I left my cloak inside on purpose." Stretching out his legs, he looks up at you sadly.

Alex shuffles slightly. This was so easy last night, when he really needed me...  "Can I.. can I sit?"

"Sure." he pats the grass next to him. "I'm sorry you came all the way out here...it's freezing out." he states the obvious, not really paying attention to his words, he lets your cloak drop back off of his shoulders.

Alex sits beside you and hugs his legs to his chest. He's wearing a heavy sweater, but he shivers involuntarily anyway. "It's okay... I needed the air... I didn't know where you were." She shrugs. "Why are trying to be cold?"

"I'm sorry I didn't let you know where I was going to be." he looks over at you with an unreadable expression on his face. "And as for being out here, freezing...well, feeling anything different than what I've been feeling is a good thing."

Alex nods. "Yeah, I know." he says under his breath, so you can barely hear. Then he says louder, "Don't feel sorry. You don't.... you don't have to tell me where you're going." He winces and rubs at his temples, closing his eyes. 

Dean looks at you skeptically and reaches out to touch your arm gently. "You okay?"

Alex looks over at you and smiles weakly. "Me? Oh, yeah. Just a headache. " He shakes his head. "Don't worry about me. How are you?"

Dean completely ignores your question, his brows furrowing in concern. "I can tell when something's wrong. Let's go upstairs and talk."

Alex looks at you for a second, then nods and pushes himself up, picking up his cloak and holding a hand out to help you up. "Alright."

Dean takes your hand carefully and stands up, brushing off his pants. He takes your elbow and leans against you slightly, slowly leading you back into the castle with him.

Alex allows himself to be led, pausing only briefly to grab his broom. He shrugs. "I didn't really feel like flying, but it was the best excuse..." And then falls in step beside you.

Dean smiles a bit, walking beside you up to the third floor room. He pauses for a moment in front of the door before quietly opening it and slipping inside the room.

Alex follows you in, laying his broom and cloak down and turning to lock the door behind him. He smiles at you softly and sits down on the couch, rubbing at his temples again as he goes.

Dean quietly takes the seat next to you, concern still etched on his face. "You know...I'm here for you...for anything. I wont you to be able to trust me the same way I trust you." he sets his hand gently over your own and scoots in closer.

Alex flinches a bit when you touch his knuckles, then leans his head against the top of the sofa, closing his eyes. "I do trust you ba.. Dean." He stops himself, not sure you are comfortable with the endearments he used last night to soothe you. "I just... had an argument with a wall..." He offers you a small smile. "The wall won."

Dean pulls you close to him, gently caressing your face with his fingers. "Let me take care of you now...the way you took care of me. Okay?" he coos softly into your ear. He brings one of your hands to his lips and gently presses a kiss to it. "I'm so sorry."

Alex leans his forehead against yours and smiles weakly, sinking into your touch. "It's okay you didn't know..'" He pauses, then begins softly. "There's nothing much to tell really... I. I went back to my room this morning. and was thinking... about what happened to you... and how I couldn't help you. And then I started thinking about..." His voice trails off. "And I lost it really. Tore up the room. Josh and Ernie found me..." He shrugs. "It's okay."

"Started thinking about what?" he whispers. He leans back against the arm of the sofa and brings you down with him, letting your head rest on his chest; his fingers continue to caress your face gently.

Alex tenses and pulls up leaning his elbows on his knees and staring ahead of himself. "About how you must feel... about how... how when you're taken advantage of you start to feel like its your fault, like you're not worth much... " He slouches and runs both hands into his hair, thinking that this conversation was getting dangerous. "About how I can't help you..."

Dean stares at you in confusion. "This isn't about just me, is it?" he reaches out to touch you, but drops his hand, afraid that you might not want him to.

Alex looks back at you over his shoulder and then leans back against the sofa, offering you a sad grin. "I'm fucking transparent aren't I?" He shakes his head. "But... it should be about you. You're the one who Well, I'm more worried about you than I am about my... demons..."

"I don't know about transparent, but I like to think I can read you fairly well." he smiles at you sadly. "I worry about you too, you know. It makes my h...makes me ache to know that you're hurting. Please, Alex...let me in. I want to help."

Alex reaches one hand to your neck lightly and leans up for a quick featherlight kiss, then looks into your eyes, leans back, and sighs. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, leaning his head back against the couch. "His name was Andrew."

Dean leans against the sofa and looks at you. "Want to tell me about it?" he reaches out to lay his hand over yours again, but quickly rethinks and sets it on your wrist instead.

Alex turns his hand over on his leg and twines his fingers with yours, holding your hand and raising it to his lips. Both for the gesture and to give himself more time. Then closes his eyes and tries to sink into the couch, even though he's tense everywhere now. "It's... it's dumb, really. But if you want to hear it..."

"Alex, I know it's not dumb. But I'm not going to pressure you to tell me if you don't want to. Just know that I lo...I care for you and I'm always going to be here to listen."

Alex tugs you into his side, letting go of your hand and putting that arm over your shoulder. Both to have you closer and so that you and so that you aren't looking at him as he starts. He kisses the top of your head lightly, then lays his head back, closing his eyes. He's never told this story before. "It was this last summer... well, started at holidays last year, but mostly just this summer... He was the first person to touch me... to touch me like he wanted to be touching me..."

Dean lets his hand rest on your arm, rubbing his thumb over your skin softly. He remains quiet, listening to your story intently.

"It was excellent at first.. I was.. I didn't know anything. Had horrible judgement..." Alex cringes at the memory. "I got really good at healing charms over the summer."

"Oh, love...I'm so sorry." he reaches out to touch your face tentatively. "I wish there was something I could do...I know my words could never be enough." he has to restrain himself from pulling you into an embrace for fear of scaring you into silence.

Alex shakes his head, and runs his fingers absentmindedly thru your hair. "It's... it's okay. I mean... I'm used to getting hurt. I hit let bludgers head towards me for fun... but...." He shakes his head again. "It's other things, you know?"

Dean shakes his head in confusion, almost afraid to ask. "What...other things?" he feels his pulse begin to quicken, and some unfamiliar emotion climbing to the forefront.

Alex's fingers still in your hair and takes another breath. "I learned a lot... I learned a lot about tearing people down... making them feel worthless... making them glad you're hurting them... believing they don't deserve any better..." His voice is shaky and his hand in your hair trembling.

"Oh, Alex...you deserve so much more than that. Love...or relationships aren't meant to be like that." he reaches up to touch your hand very lightly.

Alex sighs. "I know... I know that. I tell myself that." He opens his eyes and looks down at you. "I just, I thought I was okay now. It was bad... at the end of the summer. Maggie found out what was going on and she helped. But somewhere deep down he really made me believe him... and all those feelings came back up..." He shudders.

"Okay, listen to me for just one minute. I want you to know a few things." he clears his throat and forces himself to meet your gaze. "I'm never, ever going to tear you down; I care...I'm going to build you up...to the best of my ability. I don't plan on making you feel worthless or unloved...you're too special to me. I'm not going to hurt you either...as far as deserving better goes...well, I don't deserve you. You're everything to me, Alex. Don't ever forget that." he finishes his statement in a whisper, tears threatening in his eyes again.

Alex meets your eyes while you're saying that, feeling the stinging of more tears behind his eyes. And I thought I cried all that I had already... He runs his both hands into your hair and pulls you up, resting his forehead against yours, and starts shaking, trying not to cry. "Thank you... I don't deserve" he stops himself from saying that, words mumbled almost too softly. "Why? Why are you so good to me?"

"Because I...care about you." he frowns at his own lack of confidence. "I care very much."

Alex grins and bumps his head against yours lightly, tears still behind his eyes, but not stinging as much now. "Thank you."

Dean reaches up to caress your cheek gently. "I'm just glad that you trust me...it means more that you realize."

"I... I haven't ever told anyone." He whispers. "Maggiethat's it..." he relaxes his hands in your hair and runs one hand around your shoulders.

Dean pulls you closer, feeling you relax and taking that as a good sign. "I feel privileged, Alex. I really...don't know what to say."

Alex looks worried for a moment. "I shouldn't... after all you've been thru..." He relaxes more, resigned. "But you deserve that honesty. You... you're so good to me." He kisses your forehead and pulls you closer. "Anything you want to know about me, you can ask tonight. I promise I'll answer.... no matter what. "

"I don't know what to ask, love. I'd rather you just tell me what you're comfortable with." he reaches a hand up to run it through your hair gently.

Alex shrugs and laughs, the first time he's really laughed today. "Right, well... I was born on a Sunday..." He smiles and tilts your head up for a soft kiss. "There's too much to do that..."

Dean chuckles softly. "Well, there's only one thing I can think of at the moment...and I'm quite scared to ask."

Alex smiles, and pulls you closer. "Don't be. Don't be scared to ask me anything." whispered against your ear.

Dean shifts slightly against you. "Well...did he...did he rape you?" he winces at the words.

Alex's smile fades and he takes a deep breath, wincing and closing his eyes, then opening them again, staring off over your shoulder. "No. Maybe it would have been better if he had."

Dean frowns, tears springing up in his eyes again. "No one deserves what he did to you."

Alex wipes a tear from the corner of his eyes, his hardened eyes softening. "And no one deserves what happened to you." He closes his eyes again as more tears threaten. "At least you didn't... didn't want ... didn't allow what that bastard did to you..."

Dean sniffles a bit and rubs at his eyes. "What a dreary lot we are." he smiles a bit and pets your cheek softly.

Alex rubs at his eyes, praying he doesn't cry again, and forces a smile, pulling you closer and kissing the corner of your mouth. "At least we have each other to be dreary with." he raises an eyebrow. "Imagine if we were this dreary around happy people."

Dean snorts and squeezes you tightly. "I'm so glad I have you, Alex. You're just...everything to me."

"And you're..." He smiles and kisses the side of your mouth again. "And you. Well. I can't imagine what I did two weeks ago..."

Dean leans down to capture your lips with his own. "I...God, Alex...I don't know what I did without you either."

Alex smiles and leans up into your kiss, putting his arms around your waist and pulling you into him.

Dean leans into the kiss, enjoying your gentle touch. He'd half-expected to be scared by any contact, but your embrace is relaxing. Sighing softly he lets himself melt against you.

Alex flattens his hands against your back and rubs slow circles there, opening his mouth to your kiss, but not making any move to deepen it, still afraid of frightening you, but sighing into your mouth.

Dean tentatively runs his tongue over your lower lip and nibbles at it gently. He leans back against the arm of the sofa and pulls you back with him slowly, wrapping his arms tightly around you.

Alex moves over you gently as you lay back, running his hands to your hips and tangling his legs with yours. Moaning lightly as you nibble on his lip. "Dean....I... I don't want to hurt you."

"You're not going to hurt me...I need to be near you." he runs his hands over your back slowly, trying to encourage you.

"I just... I don't want... I don't ever want you to connect me to...to pain." He leans in for another kiss and allows more of his weight to sink into you.

"You could never hurt me, Alex...I...I want you." he kisses you gently and moves his hand to cup your cheek.

Alex slides his fingers under the sides of your shirt at your hips, massaging his fingers lightly into the skin there, and leans in for another kiss, sinking against you, pressing his body against yours as lightly as he can.

Dean wraps his legs around your waist, drawing you in nearer. He kisses you back slowly at first, then with more passion and confidence.

Alex moans and closes he eyes, sinking into you as your legs tighten around him, becoming aroused despite the emotional drain he's had today. His hands slide further up your sides under your shirt and he smiles at your kiss, letting you deepen it as you will.

Dean smiles against your lips when he feels your arousal; it doesn't scare him, and boosts his confidence again. He wraps his arms around you and sighs happily.

Alex runs his hands higher and then stops, unsure, and moves them back to your hips, rolling you up into him and smiling into your lips. "Mmm... Dean... I... feel so good when I'm with you."

Dean grins and reaches down to take your hand in his. Making sure to hold your gaze, he leads your hand back up under his shirt. "It's ok, Alex...you can touch me." he whispers against your lips.

"Thank you." whispered soft against your lips, like he knows how hard it is for you to let him. He flattens his hands against your sides and squeezes gently, fingers sliding under you to massage lightly.

Dean presses his lips back up against yours gently, tracing the side of your face with his fingers. "I...I'm glad you're here tonight, Alex. I don't know how I could bear this without you."

Alex smiles widely, letting go of some of the tension from earlier, and leans forward to kiss your forehead, sliding his body against you lightly as he does. "I'm glad I'm here too... I wish I could help you more...."

Smiling shyly, he lets his hands roam over your chest. "You are helping me...more than you know." he pulls your face back down and kisses your nose lightly.

Alex chuckles and takes your hand and slides it under his sweater, pulling it to rest on his tee shirt over his heart, which is pounding more steadily now that he isn't shaking. "I am?"

"Yes...I..." he lets his words die off and he leans up to kiss you passionately. His hand rubs gentle circles over your chest, the other continuing to caress your cheek.

Alex is shocked with the sudden passion of the kiss, but returns it after a moment, tightening his hands on your hips and letting his tongue slide along your lips. Melting even further into your hands.

Dean lets his fingers slide just under the edge of your tee shirt, tickling the soft skin there. His heart races as he revels in the feeling of your body pressed into his.

Alex signs and leans his forehead against yours, tensing a bit at the tickling and then relaxing at your touch, finally relaxing his body completely against yours and moving his fingers to massage your sides again.

Dean slowly raises his legs to wrap then around your waist. He kisses both of your cheeks gently and moves his lips back over yours.

Alex moans as your legs go around him and presses hard against you before he's able to stop himself. He captures your lips again, nibbling on your lower lip and darting his tongue out to ease the bites. "Dean' he mumbles your name against your lips without realizing he's doing it.

Dean thrusts his hips up against yours involuntarily, his obvious hardness pressing into you. He lowers his lips to your neck, gently nipping and kissing at the soft skin near your jaw.

Alex feels your arousal and tenses, beginning to pull back when your teeth touch his jawline and he sighs lightly, leaning back into you. "Dean?" His voice in hoarse now in a way that has nothing to do with his earlier crying.

Dean stops for a moment, his lips still against your skin. "Did...I do something wrong?"

"No." Alex speaks before you've even finished your questions. Then takes a breath, leaning his lips against your throat before leaning back to look into your eyes. "I just... I just don't want you to feel like you have to...to do anything" He closes his eyes and leans his forehead against yours again.

"I don't feel like I have to do this...I want to. I want you. Need you." he kisses your nose softly again. "You're not going to hurt me."

Alex smiles and nods. "Okay. If youre... if you're sure." Alex lets his full weight press into you again and slides his arms under you to wrap around your waist, leaning into you again and pressing light kisses to your throat.

Dean sighs contentedly and resumes the gentle kissing and nipping to your neck. He runs his hands slowly down your back, tugging at your tee shirt.

Alex leans up on his knees slightly and pulls the tee shirt and sweater over his head, dropping them on the floor. Then he slides his hand under the hem of your own shirt and looks down at you, unsure, questioning.

Dean raises up off of the sofa slightly, helping you to remove his shirt. He meets your gaze, hoping to reassure you.

"You really are beautiful, you know?" Alex slides the back of his knuckles along your cheek and the flattens his hand to run it slowly down your chest, his eyes following its trail. He's looking for bruises, but also just enjoying the sight of you. He leans forward slightly and presses a kiss to your collarbone.

A huge smile breaks out on his face when he hears your words. He moans quietly at your gentle touch, arching up against your hand.

Alex drags his attention back to your face and sees the smile. "You are..." he leans in to kiss your lips gently, both hands now sliding across your chest gently.

Dean leans into the kiss and tentatively lets his hands roam over your bare skin. He pulls you back closely to him, squeezing his legs tighter around your waist.

Alex braces himself on one arm, leaving space between your bodies so that the other hand can continue to caress you. He leans into your lips, arching his back as your legs tighten, unconsciously pressing his arousal even more firmly into you, but letting you deepen the kiss - keeping his own lips gentle.

[And they snog more and fall asleep horrible cock teases that they are.]