Dean puts the last of his clothes away in the wardrobe, tossing his socks haphazardly into the top drawer of his bureau at the same time. He sighs wearily and flops down onto his bed, opening the nightstand to pull out his 'Conduct of Life' book, hoping to seek a little solace in the words, or at least a little insight into the mess that's been going on around him for the last two months. 

Alex wipes at his eyes again before opening the door to your dorm room, lucky that someone let him into the tower. He stands in the doorway for a few long moments looking at you, shivering. Then in a soft voice. "Dean..." When you look up you'll notice he's shaking - his eyes bloodshot and wet.

Dean looks up, slightly startled when he hears your voice. His eyes go wide when he sees the state you're in, the book tumbling from his hand to the floor. He crosses the room quickly, drawing you into his arms instinctively. "It's okay, love..." he soothes, feeling like at last, he might be able to help you.

Alex groans and wraps his arms tight around your waist, a fresh wave of tears hitting him and damn it I thought I was done crying... but he clings to your waist and puts his head against your shoulder, crying, whispering words into your shoulder that you can't make out.

Dean holds you against himself tightly as he murmers soft reassurances in your ear. His hand rub your back softly as he tries to comfort you the best that he can. "Love...lets go over to the bed and close the curtains." he whispers very softly.

Alex nods against your neck and pulls you by the hand to your bed, pulling you down against him and cuddling close into your side before you have time to draw the curtains. "Gods, baby, I'm so sorry..." And he keeps repeating the words 'so sorry' into your shirt until a new wave of tears and hiccupping forces him to stop.

Dean sighs, forcing the tears in his own eyes back as he concentrates on comforting you. "You have nothing to be sorry for, love." His voice is barely more than a whisper as he untangles from you long enough to pull the drapes closed around the bed. He lays back down next to you, pulling you close to his chest. "I love you, baby...and I'm always going to be here. You shouldn't feel sorry for anything."

"I should." He leans away enough to lock his reddened eyes on yours. "I was a fucking zombie, lifeless, you were right. You were so right. And I hurt you... tried to fuck away all my pain and I should never... never wanted to make love to you to make me forget about something else. It should always be about you when we..." His words tumble out, fast and desperate, and then he breaks off, shivering as new tears slide down his cheeks and he buries his head in your neck again.

Dean grimaces as your words slip out quickly. "Making love is never about me, angel. It's about us. And no matter what happened, it was still you." His fingers brush through your hair lightly, pushing a few damp strands away from your face. "You didn't hurt me...that's not even possible, love."

"It wasn't me." He shivers and closes his eyes, more tears falling onto your shoulder. "Love..." Trying to say something but not finishing, just drawing you as close as he can - pushing for as much contact as is possible by laying his entire body out against yours.

Dean tangles his legs with yours gently, pulling you closer yet. "It's okay, love." He sighs softly against your cheek, caressing your side with his fingers. "You can tell me anything, you know." He coaxes, hoping to draw more conversation.

But Alex can't talk - can't do much more than press himself completely against you and sob. "God. Thought I was done with this." Shivering and pulling your body as close as he can.

"You're going to be okay...I promise." He continues to murmer softly. "I'm glad you came to me...it was time, I guess." His voice continues to whisper soothingly against your ear, softly murmering words of love and comfort. Gently, he envelops you within his strong embrace, pulling you tightly against him.

"Cor, love. I should have talked to you right off I should have come to you first...." He shivers, then pulls away slightly, tears still spilling from his eyes. "I never want to lock you out like that again."

Dean smiles softly, brushing the tears away with his thumb. "You're here now, and that's all that matters." He whispers very softly again, kissing you tenatively on the cheek.

Alex shakes his head slightly, leaning his forehead against yours and trapping your lips for just a moment, his own salty with his tears. "I can't imagine what I would ever do without you."

"Nor I, love." Dean mumbles, closing his eyes and pulling you against him closely again. "I love you so much...I can't even describe it, baby."

"After... after we.." He begins, and then stops himself, wrapping arms tighter around your waist and leaning his head into your shoulder again. "Don't ever leave me, Dean. Please." Voice pleading again, broken.

Dean looks at you curiously for a moment. "I'm never going to leave you." He says quite seriously. "Don't even think it for a moment. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried."

Alex leans back a little again and looks into your eyes, then lets his own eyes drift to rest on his hand - on the ring you gave him. "I would die if you did." And his voice is pathetically broken, but completely serious. "I would die."

"Love..." His voice wavers, a completely stricken look on his face. "...I'm not going anywhere. Don't talk like that. It scares the hell out of me to hear you say things like that." He looks into your eyes, silently begging you to really listen to him.

Alex meets your eyes again, looking deep into them. His are red, like you've noticed, but you can see for the first time since Maggie's death that he's actually there - the old Alex, if in pain. "I love you so much, baby. The thought... " He presses his lips to yours quick and soft. "I never want to be without you."

Dean cups your cheek in his hand, kissing you back gently. "You'll never have to be without me. I swear it." He murmers against your lips. He nuzzles his face up against your cheek, closing his eyes wearily. "I love you."

Alex turns and captures your lips soflty again, pouring all of his love for you and his grief and how much it means to him that you're there into the kiss.

Dean returns the kiss gently for a moment, pulling back only to gaze into your eyes again. "You know I really mean it, don't you?" He whispers hoarsely. "I love you as I've never loved anyone in my life. You mean absolutely everything to me." His lips brush against yours softly once again before pulling away to rest his head against the pillows.

Alex nods and leans his head against your chest, curling up around you. "I know you do. I mean it too. I... " he stops, dropping a kiss to your chest, whispering something you can't catch except for the word "forever." He cuddles in closer to your side.

Dean smiles softly, pulling you up next to him, so that his face is level with yours. He looks into your eyes again, blissfully aware of how much he's missed such a simple gesture. "Yes...forever." He mumbles quietly. "That's how long my heart will belong to you."

New tears leak from Alex's eyes at that, his arms tightening around you again, legs snaking to twine with yours. "Stay with me forever, then." He murmurs it, almost to himself, barely aware that the thought is out loud. And if he weren't wracked with all the grief he'd pushed away he would smile at the feeling of being back in his own mind and back in your arms.

"I will, love..." Dean sighs, caressing your back softly. "...I promise." His lips brush against your cheek again momentarily before pulling his face away again, refusing to look away from your eyes.

Alex sighs, content with that, and closes his eyes, nestling his head against your shoulder to wait for the tears stop.

[fin.]