Draco: Well, look who it is.

Ron: GO AWAY

Draco: Why?

Ron: because i know what you're up to! you can't put anything past me!!

Draco: Up to? Oh, enlighten me. What am I up to, Weasel?

Ron: DONT CALL ME THAT and I know you're going to try and do something to get me in trouble, but you can't put anything past 'ole Weasley!

Draco: What would you rather I call you, Weasel? And I think you get in enough trouble on your own.

Ron: you could not call me ANYTHING, and you could LEAVE ME ALONE. oi, i don't get in trouble, i help STOP trouble

Draco: Now what fun would that be? You're so simple to insult... and stop trouble? I remember a broken wand and the Ministry investigating your father...

Draco: Not that it matters. He doesn't do anything important there.

Ron: I'm not simple to insult, you're just a bloody git with no life. AND LEAVE ME FATHER ALONE, AT LEAST HE'S NOT ROTTING IN AZKABAN, YOU WANKER!

Draco: i'm being forced to use this fucking muggle thing, I might as well have fun with it.

Draco: Leave my father out of it!

Ron: have fun with search engines! they have goats and muggle sex! so says lavender! YOU LEAVE MY FATHER OUT OF IT FIRST, YOU STARTED IT

Draco: Goats and... Why the hell would I want to look at that?

Draco: Your father will be used to it. He's left out of everything else.

Ron: because you're gross and bizarre? AND NO HE'S NOT, HE'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR FATHER WILL EVER BE

Draco: Gross and bizarre? Oh.. those are good ones. The mudblood teach you those?

Ron: DON'T CALL HER A MUDBLOOD! Hermione is a MUCH better person than you could EVER hope to be!

Draco: Why shouldn't I? That's what she is. And.. yes. I'm ever so jealous of her.

Ron: She's not a mudblood, she's a bloody good witch... she's smarter than you'll ever be. and GOOD you SHOULD be jealous!

Draco: That was sarcasm, Weasel. Sorry, I should have realised you weren't smart enough to catch that.

Ron: I KNOW THAT BUT IM POINTING OUT THE FACT THAT YOU SHOULD BE JEALOUS OF HER

Draco: Why are you writing in all capital letters?

Ron: BECAUSE IM ANGRY, GODDAMNIT

Draco: Angry? I made you angry? I'm so very very sorry.

Draco: That was sarcasm too, in case you didn't understand.

Ron: I UNDERSTOOD IT and why are you such a prat??? what do you have to be, er... pratty about, anyway? your family's been DISGRACED

Draco: My family will always be more powerful than yours could dream of! Yours has ALWAYS been a disgrace.

Draco: Ah, those large letters are useful...

Ron: WE HAVE NOT! just because we're not evil and gitty and have long, poncy hair, doesn't mean we're a disgrace! my parents would kick YOUR parents arses!

Draco: You have. Poor muggle-lovers. It's sad, really. And my father's hair isn't poncy.

Ron: what the bloody hell is wrong with muggles?? and YES IT IS it's like GIRLS hair

Draco: They're useless. And you're not one to talk about poncy, the way you follow after Potter ...

Ron: they're people too, you know, you prat. AND WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? He's my best mate, obviously we're around each other!

Draco: Yeah. Sure. Your best mate. That's why you follow him around and get jealous if he speaks with other people... it's not like people haven't noticed.

Draco: And they're barely human - muggles. Just barely people.

Ron: that's ridiculous! you're just trying to annoy me! >:0 and what're you on??? of course they're human! fully!

Draco: Ridiculous? I don't think so. And yes, human, just barely better than animals.

Ron: what have they ever done to you? you're such an idiot, Malfoy. you have nothing to boast about

Draco: Aw, you don't even know how useless you are? That's cute.

Draco: And what's this in your journal about you being cute? Potter been telling you that?

Ron: NO! for your information, GIRLS told me I was cute!

Draco: Really?

Draco: Real live ones, or were you dreaming?

Ron: REAL LIVE ONES, git

Draco: Git? That's original. Bloody stupid arse. And I don't believe you.

Draco: You're not cute at all.

Ron: you just have bad taste

Draco: And you're poor. You really have nothing going for you at all.

Draco: How pathetic, really.

Ron: IM NOT POOR IM ECONOMICALLY CHALLENGED

Draco: Poor.

Ron: NOT

Draco: Economically challenged means poor you idiot.

Ron: NO IT DOESN'T... and you know what??  maybe i AM poor "economically, er, wise" but YOU'RE poor in PERSONALITY and KINDNESS

Draco: Oh no, whatever will I do! I'm poor in kindness!

Draco: Please.

Ron: it'll amount to something in the real world!

Draco: Planning to get by on your charm and good looks then?

Ron: PERHAPS!

Draco: That was sarcasm, again, moron. You look like a Weasley and have no culture at all. What exactly do you think you can do.

Draco: Professional Keeper, maybe?

Draco: I'll have to teach so many people that song if you do...

Ron: fuck off, Malfoy. At least I won't have to worry about my family being utter nutters, and running around with bloody you-know-who

Draco: You sure about that? Your sister ran with the Dark Lord a bit, didn't she? Tried to kill mudbloods... I've never thanked her for that.

Ron: DON'T. EVER. MENTION. THAT. AGAIN. it wasn't her fault and you know that!! maybe if your PONCY FATHER hadn't STARTED THE WHOLE DAMN THING, none of that would've ever happened!

Draco: Don't tell me what to do, Weasel. And don't talk about my father!

Draco: I think I will mention it... killed chickens, right? And wrote with their blood.

Ron: she should've killed YOU and wrote with YOUR blood, then she would've gotten a PLAQUE or something

Draco: I'm the pinacle of health.

Draco: It was so funny that she almost died, wasn't it? We were laughing for weeks....

Ron: im going to fucking strangle you

Draco: You couldn't get near me.

Ron: TRY ME

Draco: Fuck you. I'm not afraid of you.

Ron: You should be

Draco: Oh, yes. Wait. I'm terriried. Big bad Weasley is out to get me.

Draco: Maybe with your baby sister and the mudblood to defend you like they have in the journals.

Ron: what the fuck crawled up your arse and died? CANT YOU JUST LEAVE US ALONE?

Draco: I could, but it's so funny to watch you be angry. And stupid.

Draco: Of course, you're stupid all the time.

Ron: oh yea, because i forgot, you have no life. and you're just a pathetic slytherin, and you bloody WISH you could be a Gryffindor... so you figure you may as well get as close to us as you bloody well can!

Draco: Oh, yeah. I just wish I were brave and stupid like you.

Draco: You caught me. I'm jealous.

Ron: i think you're jealous that i have real bloody friends, and you have no one. not even a father.

Draco: I HAVE A FATHER!

Draco: And your friends make you weak.

Ron: FAT LOT OF GOOD HE'S DOING OFF IN AZKABAN NOW, EH? and no, they don't. if it wasnt for my friends, i wouldn't be here. so fuck that.

Draco: Yeah, pity that would be. One less Weasley.

Ron: fuck you

Draco: You wish.

Ron: THAT'S DISGUSTING

Draco: The thought of shagging you, yes.

Ron: I WOULDNT WANT YOU TO SHAG ME! that's gross!!!!

Draco: Oh, you would, I'm quite good.

Draco: But I wouldn't ever touch you.

Ron: i don't even want to THINK abou that

Ron: and THANK MERLIN

Draco: I bet you think about it all the time.

Ron: why would i do something as stupid as that?!??!?

Draco: Because I'm sure to be better than Potter?

Ron: why would i think of HARRY like that? he's not a girl!!

Draco: So?

Draco: You're a ponce.

Ron: ...??? I AM NOT A PONCE

Draco: Yes you are.

Ron: NO i think i would KNOW if i were one!

Draco: Theodore was wrong, you're boring.

Ron: I AM NOT BORING

Draco: You are.

Draco: You're boring me.

Ron: WHAT, AM I SUPPOSED TO ENTERTAIN YOU?

Draco: Of course. What else are you good for.

Ron: lots of things!!!!

Draco: No, I'm bored of you now. Maybe I'll go dig up a diary or something to send to your sister.

Ron: SHUT YOUR BLOODY MOUTH

Draco: See you around, Weasel.

Ron: I HOPE NOT, FERRET